Kevin’s Keys to Happiness
#1: Understand that happiness is a choice
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “no one can make you unhappy without your permission.” Proactive people understand this. When we feel happy, or sad, or angry, we have made a choice, whether or not we are willing to admit it. When you hear someone make the statement, “that person makes me so mad,” you have to ask, why would you allow that person to have that power over you?
When you wake up in the morning, you have the power to choose to be happy or sad, excited or depressed, alert or sluggish (unless you are genuinely suffering from a severe medical or mental condition). So, if you have the power to chose to be happy, then make that your choice for the day.
#2: If you seek happiness, you will find it
Someone once told me that optimists live much better lives than pessimists. That's because if we're looking for good things to happen, there's a much better chance that we will create your our self-fulfilling prophecy. Unfortunately, the opposite is true. If we think only bad things will happen to us, there's a good chance that we'll only experience the bad. So, the trick is to always be on the look out for good things to happen around us.
#3: A lot of little happy adds up
When you first wake up in the morning, you have the power to choose to be happy. Sure, we could dwell upon the negative, but why? Only when we focus on the positive can we move forward. So, be grateful for all the good you have in your life, especially when so many have less. Little things do add up, and that includes happiness.
#4: Don't chase the dollar
When developing your career, the last reason you should take a job is for the money alone. Money does not give us happiness, it's the things money allows us to do. However, if you spend all your time chasing the big bucks, you won't have time for family and friends and the things that really matter in life.
#5: Help others
I don't believe you can help others without helping yourself. Even if you are of limited financial means, you can still encourage others, assist others, donate your time to others. You'll find that helping others can be a tremendous source of happiness. It's almost selfish. It's difficult to help others, without helping yourself. Granted, you can't put a smile in your bank account. However, when your gone, no one will remember your bank balance, but they will remember how you made them feel and how you helped them out.
#6: Don't neglect relationships with family and friends
It's unfortunate that some people learn this lesson too late in life. It's true, “no one ever said they wish they spent more time at the office” on their deathbed. Early in my career, I sacrificed way too much on the alter of career success at the expense of my family. Then one day, a friend told me, “organizations are like garbage disposals… they will take and take and never be satisfied.” The point is that you need to give as much to the ones you love (if not more) than you would give to work.
#7: Take time to pause
Don't rush to judgment with yourself or others. Decisions that are made too quickly rarely yield something that will make you happy. If someone upsets you and you think, “I can see how they would say such a thing,” then you have some work to do. As Dr. Stephen Covey, author of “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” says, “Think first to understand, then to be understood.” Before you react, think about how you value the relationship with that other person. The odds are they didn't get up in the morning, devising a plan to upset you that day. As a wise boss of my would often say, “always assume positive intent.”
#8: Get enough sleep
It's hard to be happy when you are physically drained of energy. Most people can become pretty grumpy if they haven't had a good nights sleep. There is a lot of evidence that demonstrates how getting enough sleep can affect your happiness. Staying up to watch something on the TV, or surfing the net, isn't worth the grogginess and unhappiness you'll experience the following day. Just as happiness is a choice, so is going to bed at a decent hour. If you have problems falling asleep, see your doctor.
#9: Always tell the truth
I once heard a pastor say, “always tell the truth, that way there's less to remember.” Being happy doesn't really take a lot of work. If you tell the truth, keep your word, do what you say you'll do for others, happiness comes easy. If you lie, misrepresent yourself, flake on others, eventually it will catch up with you and no one will be happy.
#10: Smile
Psychologists have been telling us for years that it's not possible to have positive and negative thoughts in our minds at the same time. If you're feeling down, think of that special something that makes you smile. If you see someone who doesn't have a smile, give them one of yours. And if none of that works, fake it until you make it. If you put forth the effort “act” happy, eventually, you will be happy.
#11: Have faith
Many studies have shown that people who have faith also have longer and happier lives. Life is going to have its tragedies. Things will not always go the way you want them to. However, it's imperative to have faith that the bad will not last, and keep in mind that there is a lot more good in this world. If you lost your job, have faith that you will find another one. If you're having problems with family or loved ones, have faith that there is still a chance to heal the wounds. I have found that the person who lacks faith, lacks hope. Without hope, it's very difficult to be happy.
My hope is that you will find your faith and enjoy it. And, if all else fails, watch the video below from Nick Vujicic and choose to be happy!
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